WE ARE just past the first weekend of 2014 and in Zimbabwe, newspaper stands are already brimming with tabloid-style headlines of scandalous news — of the penile sort — to do with former Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai and miracle-working pentecostal prophet, Emmanuel Makandiwa.
The man is reported to have travelled to Zimbabwe in search of help for his penis which he is quoted as saying was the size of a two-year-old’s. He added that the problem was affecting his love life and therefore his prospects of finding a wife.
“First month grow, second month grow, third month grow, fourth month grow, fifth month ummm stop,” Makandiwa is said to have commanded the man’s infantile penis which, I must assume, is still expanding exponentially as you read this.
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